Reframe Interview Stress
9 May 2018
The colleague sitting next to you is super nervous. They have a job interview at 1pm. You can almost physically feel the stress they are exuding. It washes over you, eliciting all your empathy. Someone you care about, at least a little, is in distress and you would like to do something to help.
The typical help offered in this situation plays out something like this:
Interview Person: I’m so nervous, they are going to see how nervous I am and not like me.
Helper (you): You’ll be fine. They’d be silly not to see how great you are.
Interview Person: But what if I can’t even talk?
Helper (you): Just relax, you’ll be fine.
Interview Person: Oh, this just feels so bad, I am sure I will stuff it up.
Helper (you): Come on, calm down, relax. Really, you will be fine…
This scenario continues with the helper, perhaps you, continually trying to calm the person down.
The thing is, this often leads to added stress for the interview person. Not only are they concerned about the interview, they are also concerned that they can’t be relaxed as everyone is advising them to be – Eeeek!
The best advice you can give someone in the above scenario is not the advice to calm down and relax. Instead help them reframe their stress as excitement. In most cases the feeling they are labelling as stress is really just their body marshalling energy for performance. This energy can be labelled as either stress or excitement because essentially it feels the same. Excitement though is a much healthier emotion to channel into the interview.
Maybe your help could go something like this:
Interview Person: I’m so nervous, they are going to see how nervous I am and not like me.
Helper (you): What they will see is that you are excited and keen about this role.
Interview Person: But what if I can’t even talk?
Helper (you): Use that excitement you are feeling to help you remember all that you know.
Interview Person: OK… Really, I am quite excited. I know I would be good in the role.
Helper (you): Woo, hoo, go you. You’ve got this.
As always wishing you a flourishing career.
Katherine